Leandra In Front of Volcanoes

igneous-rock-lobster:

Mt Rainier- a huge stratovolcano in the US (Washington state to be exact - to be honest before I saw this picture all I knew about Washington state was something to do with Twilight…also, it does NOT house Washington D.C - I know right, most confusing…cut me some slack, I’m Australian for chrissakes). Anyway, from here on out I will associate Washington state with this BEHEMOTH instead - and boy is she beautiful.

Apparently said behemoth is part of the Cascade Volcanic Arc, which formed as a result of SUBDUCTION - Involved is a the low key so-called ‘minor’ plate, known as the Juan de Fuca Plate (frankly the most interestingly named of ALL the tectonic plates and one which I don’t know much about - probably because it sounds like it was named after a gallant, handsome and mysterious Spanish explorer (quite coincidentally, Juan de Fuca WAS a gallant, handsome and mysterious Spanish explorer - I know right, what are the chances).

The Juan de Fuca Plate was slowly SUCKED underneath the larger North American Plate - most of the Juan de Fuca Plate now resides permanently subducted beneath the North American Plate - which must be nice because I’ve heard it’s a lovely place for a holiday home…

Mt Ranier is known to be a particularly DANGEROUS volcano. It has a large amount of glacial ice, which, when melted by lava, can produce huge volcanic mudflows known as lahars. Said lahars have the consistency of concrete and can flow at up to 100km/h.

Sometimes it strikes me just how POWERFUL our Earth is and I am amazed by how little respect we treat it with. Surely with the knowledge we have about the havoc that can be wreaked by…well…GEOLOGY…it pays to learn as much as we can about it!

Photo by Alex Anderson

<3

Soooo… The volcano I decided to visit today was one of the sexiest volcanoes around—Mayon in the Philippines! When I saw pictures of it, I was like… Holy crap… That volcano is like the most perfect shape EVER. If I went back in time, to see the dinosaurs, THAT is what I imagine a volcano from the time of the dinosaurs to look like! All green and tropical and pointy and crap… With a T-Rex roaring and running around in front of it with some palm trees. Beautiful. When I was there, I thought:

• The name “Mayon” makes me think of “Mayo” and “mayonnaise”. Mayonnaise makes me think of delicious sandwiches with lettuce, tomatoes, and swiss cheese on sourdough bread… Also with ketchup. Lots of people don’t like ketchup on their sandwiches, but I NEED to have ketchup on all of my sandwiches. Except for when I eat tuna sandwiches. Ketchup on a tuna sandwich would be really freaking weird…
• When I was little I watched the show Barney the Dinosaur. (LIKE EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD.) And one episode there was a Filipino girl teaching the other kids about her culture… Right after that they found a cake in the kitchen. And then they frosted the cake, and it looked really delicious while they were frosting it with one of those flat spatulas… So now whenever I think about the Philippines I think about this delicious frosted cake that I want to eat… OH, GOD. I WANT IT.
• So, yeah, apparently everything in this country makes me think of food.
• In reality, Filipino food is actually kinda confusing, because it’s like Asian and American at the same time… And the flavor combinations are pretty unusual.
• I want to live in a hut on Mount Mayo, BECAUSE IT IS SO BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT. IT IS THE PERFECT VOLCANO SHAPE. OH, GOD, LOOK AT THAT PERFECT SHAPE AND THOSE STEEP, SMOOTH SLOPES… OBBY.
• Also, it would be cool if Mount Mayo erupted mayonnaise.

This post conveys how much of a terrifying freak I am, but that’s okay. I warned you all in the beginning. On my home planet, volcano worship is normal. Where is my home planet, you say? We may never know—not even me! Just keep that Kryptonite far away. It makes me break out in hives. LATER, HOMIES!

YES, AN UPDATE, MY FELLOW VOLCANO-LOVING MINIONS! (Well, when I am a supervillain someday and have a volcanic lair on Mt. Pico, you will be my minions…) I know it has been toooo, too long since the last one. But, minions, refrain from stabbing me… Lest I enslave you with my alien mind control.

So, I last visited Mt. Hood relatively close to the weird, weird city of Portland, Oregon in the United States. I saw other stratovolcanoes from a distance—Helens, Jefferson, Adams… But Hood was the only one I was fortunate enough to stand on. Sadly, I did not get to see any obvious volcanic activity… BUT THERE IS ALWAYS NEXT TIME!

Here are some things I thought about while chilling in the hood with Hood:

• Despite trying to avoid the “mainstream” by isolating himself in a sea of other mountains and forests, the very hipster Hood seemed unable to prevent humans from building a huge ski lodge on his back.
• Fortunately, the ski lodge is built directly on the scarring of Hood’s last eruption…So next time Hood gets a coughing fit from his excessive chain-smoking, he will take care of those all those pesky consumerist fools.
• I know Hood has fumaroles. WHERE ARE THE FUMAROLES?!?!
• I wonder if Hood is offended by my jazz hands..Or maybe he’s amused by these and other reoccurring internet memes he watches via a stolen Mac Notebook.
•  According to Native American legends, Hood battled Mt. Adams for the affections of the beautiful Mt. St. Helens. I never knew that asshole was capable of liking anyone other than himself.
• I tried the Eruption Dance (patent pending) on Mt. Hood because I figured the Pacific Northwest could use some more natural disaster action… BUT TO NO AVAIL. I think maybe if I add more verses of poetic, nonsensical lyrics and a couple of discordant guitar solos, Hood might be willing to cooperative. We’ll see.
• I didn’t run into vampires. WOE. WOOOE.

So, yeah… It was an interesting trip… But not the kind of trip that Portlandians understand. <_<; (WAS THAT A LAME PUN? YES? YES? GOOD.) I’m getting a little discouraged by all these volcanoes covered in snow—even in the summertime. So, for a change of scenery, I think you can expect a slightly more tropical destination in the future~ HASTA LUMBAGO!

A LOVELY “YOU IN FRONT OF VOLCANOES” SUBMITTED BY MY FANS REESES AND SKITTLES:

-First, thanks to Bubku the Bloody-Handed at the information kiosk in Morannon, who was really nice and managed to get us a map and some false press passes! :)

-Mordor is basically (according to the map that Skittles kept reading upside-down!) three regions:

-Udun, which is a giant valley and some big mountains (lots of armories and supply caves – great for souvenir shopping!),

-The Plateau of Gorgoroth, which is basically an inhospitable volcanic plateau – they were strongly recommending wearing O2 masks, but Skittles and I are pretty cheap and we just used our shirt sleeves.

-Lithlad, which is also inhospitable, but less inhospitable than Gorgoroth.  Skittles and I were unfortunately unable to make it to Lithlad, which was sad because I wanted to see Mordor’s farming set up….such is life….

-Barad Dur was closed for repairs when we went, but Sauron’s road had been recently cleaned, so Skittles and I took two days and hiked to Sammath Naur.  Cameras were not allowed. :(

Overall, it was one of the better spring breaks we’ve been on, I hope we can go again sometime.

This is me in front of a lava flow… Kilauea!!!! 8D WOOHOO. And where I COULD OF been this summer, if CSAV loved me enough! *sobs uncontrollably* No, however. Instead I got an REU (Research Experience fro Undergraduates) to Oregon State. I will be focusing on another group of volcanoes, but yeah. I thought I’d drop by Hawaii to visit since I won’t be able to do anything academically awesome there…. YET. MWAHAHAH.

These are some things I thought of while I was there:

• Hawaii should have monkeys. I think the Hawaiian jungle would be funner with monkeys in it. …SHUT UP.
• I really like pineapple. Hawaiian pineapple and fresh guava juice. OH MY GOD, IF ONLY I COULD HAVE SOME AT THIS VERY MOMENT.
• Hawaii Volcanoes National Park is the reason I wanted to become a volcanologist in the first place! If you curious as to why, send me a question! It’s a long story. XD
• There are lots of Japanese people in Hawaii. I love Japan. I love Japan A LOT. HINT HINT.
• I love dolphins and whales and whales and dolphins and wolphins and dhales and dowhales and whalophins.
• I think I am going to go snorkling, but I feel like I would run into coral and cut myself very terribly like in the movie Castaway with Tom Hanks.
• That movie freaked me out. I watched it only once and I will never watch it again.
• Am I the only one who laughed hysterically when Wilson was lost at sea? Probably. I’m a terrible person.

SO, I’ve been to the island of O’ahu, too. I pretty much love Hawaii because of the way it looks, and the temperature, and the coconuts, and the sand, and the seaweed, and the awesome hotel buffet breakfasts with freaking anything you could ever want to eat ever, and the orchids, and the jungle, and the ants swarming all over your feet, and the fact that Hawaiians give the shittiest directions of all time, and—WOW. That may be the most commas I’ve used in about fifty years. I realize I do not look fifty years old, but I am an alien, and we age differently than you humans do. Plus I am wearing a disguise. My true form would make you cry tears of blood. I also like buying stuff in Hawaii, because there are so many stores, and they are all great. And I like the sound of waves when I wake up in the morning, and how every girl I see makes me feet like a fat tub of lard. Also the mosquitoes that are as big as my head. Those are great, too.

I was uber jealous reading National Geographic about those volcanologists that investigated Nyiragongo. SO I DECIDED TO GO TO AFRICA, TOO, TO HANG WITH MY HOMEBOY OL DOINYO LENGAI. Yes, somewhere not cold. (Sorry, Jamie, Nevado del Ruiz will have to wait for another day!)

What I thought about while I was there:

• My gashes from Antarctica have healed up nicely.
• Where are the bush people?
• I WANT TO HANG OUT WITH THE BUSH PEOPLE!
• It would be super awesome if they had a prince, and he was really hot, and somehow knew English. And he wanted to travel the world and run away from his tribe, so we got married and ran away together.
• Please note that this is pretty much the same plot of every daydream I ever had ever, except the circumstances and locations change. If I was in the Azores, I’d be marrying a sexy village boy with an accent that wanted to see the world.
• Am I going to be eaten by lions?
• I would be okay with that because lions are really cool.
• I really like Ethiopian food. TOO BAD I’M IN TANZANIA!
• OH, WAIT. THE MAASAI ARE WAY COOLER THAN NORMAL BUSH PEOPLE! YES!!!
• What the fook is with Lengai’s lava? It’s like… Warm… And all carbon-y…

So why is it I never try to climb the volcanoes I visit? That is because, my friends, at this point in time I am really out of shape and cannot breathe after running even five minutes. Strenuous mountain climbing is decidedly not my forte—until I can find the strength and drive to spend hours at the gym each week. I’M WORKING ON IT, OKAY!? IT’S CALLED ZUMBA! In Africa, however, I was able to hire someone to carry me up on his shoulders for exactly one dollar and thirty three cents. It made him the richest man in his entire village and he was most pleased. They also made me a shirt out of this crazy fabric that looked like it had deformed eyeballs all over it. Maybe it has some religious symbolism? Anyway, before I leave the continent, I plan on training under a witch doctor! Why? …BECAUSE I CAN, YOU INCOMPETENT FOOLS!